No, it's not some sexy new position that H and I have going on. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about my dentist visit.
Yes, the dentist. How many times a year am I supposed to see him?
Twice. It's highly recommended that I visit the dentist twice a year. They remind me it's been almost a year since my last visit. Really, it's been that long?
I sit there, the dental hygienist is literally scraping and pulling plaque out of my mouth. I feel like someone is running their fingernails across a chalkboard. She continues on to tell me that I should floss more often because there is a large amount of plaque build-up in my mouth.
Alright, let's get on the subject of flossing. I don't floss everyday. I know I should. Seriously, I'm just glad I'm able to bath and brush my teeth every day. That alone is an accomplishment.
Like many of you, don't deny it either, I some how think I can fool my dentist. If I start flossing a week before my visit, maybe my gums won't bleed so much. Maybe, just maybe, I won't hear the flossing lecture.
I continue to sit there. The hygienist places some type of gum measuring device between all my teeth. She dictates numbers to the other hygienist who notes each number down. 220.127.116.11.3.4.
What the hell does all that numerical mumbo jumbo mean?
Well it means that my attempts to start flossing a week before my visit isn't fooling anyone. I did not dodge the important flossing lecture. They even took out the fake teeth. Teeth that are perfectly straight and shiny. Teeth that are free of plaque. Gums that are healthy.
They take out another pair of fake teeth. Teeth that have been neglected. Teeth that are missing and brown. Teeth that are so scary that I've been flossing every night.
Good news is I'm cavity free. Bad news, I have to go back for a DEEP CLEANING. UGH!