Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: San Diego By ManetteGonz

Downtown San Diego by ManetteGonz

Scripps Pier by ManetteGonz

What a Morning

The day did not start off well at all. Not only did I get kicked numerous times during the evening hours by Princess Ninja, my slumber was interrupted by the soothing irritating sounds of both children crying this morning.

To Princess Ninja: Perhaps if you stayed in your lovely, comfy bed, Mama would not have to continually reposition you. Oh did I wake you, sorry! I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't kick me in the face in the middle of the night. Actually, I would appreciate it if you didn't kick, slap, or try to push me off the bed.

Chubs: I have no idea what you have to cry about in the morning. You were fed well, so you couldn't be hungry. I held you, hugged you, gave you numerous kisses and even read your favorite book 5 times!!!! Don't tell me I'm not giving you enough attention.

By this afternoon, I was at my wits end. Princess Ninja continually kept throwing things in the air. I reminded her three times to not throw things in the house. Angry Mama finally came out when her little throw toy decided to land and bounce on some delicate equipment, the television. Luckily nothing broke. Princess Ninja ended up having some alone time in her room, so she can think about why we don't throw things in the house. Current status: fast asleep.

Chubs was being unreasonable. He wanted me to hold him. 10 seconds later, he wanted to be put down. As I placed him down, he would stomp around the house throwing a fit. Then he'd want me to hold him. Then he wanted to put down. It was getting old very fast!

He couldn't possibly need another nap. He just woke up from a hour slumber less than an hour ago. Hmm, perhaps you're hungry. As I fed him AND held him, he would suck the juices out of his food and spit it ever so cutely in my face and then cry about it.

Chubs ended up back in his room. I let him think about his actions cry it out for 10 minutes. The next thing I knew, silence!!! Current status: fast asleep.

The house is silent! Hallelujah!!!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Signs & Symbols

I'm no Handy Manny. I'll be the first to admit that. I leave it to my husband to handle all things that require fixing. As far as car maintenance, I can do the very basics. I can put gas in the tank. I know how to check my tire pressure and put air in the tires, if needed. I know the basic concept of changing a tire, although I've never physically done it before. I also know signs and signals.
photo courtesy of
oil change/low oil. Something to do with the oil that needs to be taken care of.
"Honey, I think there's something wrong with the car's oil"

photo courtesy of

I better get some gas or I wonder how far I can go before the car stops running.

photo courtesy of

Somone's pissed off at me.
"Right back at you!"

photo courtesy of

But what in the world is this? 

Yeah, that explanation point in the middle of a cauldron. Does it mean somethings cooking and I better remember to remove it from my fire pit?

It's obviously something important because the manufacturer decided to use an "!" In other words, I better do something about this problem. If I only knew what the car was trying to tell me.

It turns out one of my tires had a small hole that was causing my tire pressure to fall. In other words, the symbol above is telling me I have a flat tire?

Really? There wasn't something they could have used to make it a little more obvious. 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Total Body Workout

We all want a hot body! We all want to wake up every morning feeling va va va voom.  Does any of the following resemble us instead:

Good morning triceps, is that you guys waving at me? Where are we taking flight to today?
There's a buy one get one free on pancakes this morning. (As each butt cheek is dragged on the ground)
Muffin top, let's just take the whole damn bakery with us
I like it when my thighs rub together. I like it when I chafe.

After observing several people and infomercials, I think I've devised a complete body work out. From toned arms, a belly that doesn't jiggle, a butt so high and firm you can bounce a coin on it, and lean legs, it is possible with minimum effort.

Move over Jillian Michaels there's a new work out guru in town!

The Ab Contour

It's a belt that delivers electrical impulses to your abdominal muscles. I have to admit, I actually tried this. A friend of mine bought it and she let me use it to work out.  I had a 45 minute work out while doing every day task. I even ate a doughnut as I was working out!!!!

The Shake Weight

Dynamic Inertia is the technology used for this device. Hmm, dynamic inertia, huh? You must see the instructional video to truly appreciate this. The website claims that you'll see results by using this for only 6 minutes a day. 6 minutes, I think I can spare that.

Sketchers Shape Ups

"Shape up while you walk" Again, another multi-tasking way to work out. You can shop for groceries or walk the kids to the park and shape up all at the same time. Cha ching!

Sun Chips Technology

Last, but not least, this one is actually beyond my control. If every manufacturer of food can use the same loud technology as Sun Chips, it might just prevent me from eating so much. I'm all for biodegradable and helping the green movement, but if the whole neighborhood can hear I'm eating at midnight, I might just pass on stuffing my face.

Disclaimer: I'm still waiting for Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit edition to call me. I just found the above interesting if they actually worked. If it does, please let me know!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Answers to Wordless Wednesday

Crack & cake! Really?

That's my friend Manette on my Wordless Wednesday posts.

Some how the crack picture always makes me giggle. Who would have such a twisted sense of humor?

The cake picture. Well, I too, have portion control issues, so who am I to judge.

Crack and cake is the combo I get when I asked her to send me a picture of herself. Manette's actually made an appearance on my blog before. If you click here, you'll see how we spent the day together. Yeah, she's loads of fun. My kids love her because she's basically a big kid. Did I mention her house is always full of yummy snacks?

Manette's also taken up photography. She has a bunch of cool gadgets that I'm usually yelling at the kids not to touch.  Since I pack about 5,000 pounds of toddler and baby gear, I tend to carry around a little point and shoot camera. On top of that, I can NOT take my eyes off the kids for one minute, because the second I do, Chubs manages to dart to the most dangerous thing out there.

I decided to team up with her for Wordless Wednesdays of San Diego. My favorite budding photographer was forced has agreed to help me share our beautiful city with all of you.

If you didn't hear, BlogHer 11 is going to be in San Diego. We wanted to tempt you all to come because it's not about coming up with the cash, sponsors, or time that's stopping you. You all needed convincing.

The first Wednesday of every month will be dedicated to her work. Please join us.

I also wanted to do a spin-off. Worldless Wednesdays of the World. I wanted to post a picture taken by you guys. If you're interested, please let me know.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: Stay Tuned. Answers on Thursday



Over at Casa di Cass

I'm hanging out with Big Mama Cass. Come join us!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Family Fun Day

 I had this whole family day planned out. The Mr. and I are both off today. It's a weekday and most people have returned to work. A lot of the schools here have also started up again. To top it off, it's a gorgeous day to hang out at the beach or by the water. All the makings of some fun in the sun with the family.

To start off family fun day, I woke up and made chocolate chip pancakes and had myself a cup of iced coffee. Everyone was dressed and ready to go by 9:00AM. By the way, that's a record in this family. Normally it's a struggle to wrangle up the kids. By the end of the morning, I'm exhausted. No, this morning was easy breezy. 

Oh, did I mention that both kids have fallen asleep before I even loaded up the car? I went upstairs to gather a few more supplies and I see Princess Ninja asleep. As I continue organizing our supplies, I see Chubs rolling around the living room entertaining himself. The next thing I know, he's asleep on the floor. 

Great! Well there's been a change of plans. We're all going to take naps. When we wake up, fun in the sun will be reevaluated. Until then, this is definitely my idea of family fun day. 

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Random Post: Stalkers, Blog Challenge, & Vajazzled

It's almost 11:30pm PST. I should be getting ready to go to bed, but I have a small burst of energy.

Hint: I just used the bathroom and my urine smells like a fresh brewed cup of coffee. French roast with a splash of milk so not to upset my stomach this late in the evening.

As I'm waiting for the last load of laundry to finish, I thought I'd do a random post. So here it is.

Saturday is almost done. I have a few minutes left before Sunday rolls in and I can no longer boast about being stalked by Kludgy Mom. It was a very pleasant Saturday surprise. I enjoyed my special day.

Speaking of Kludgy Mom, she's holding a blogging challenge. On my endless journey to become more and more awesome every day, I decided to join. Mind you, I'm a novice at blogging. I figured this could only help me.

Last but not least, I've gotten a number of inquires regarding one of my Friday Flip-offs. The bedazzled vajayjay or vajazzled. I would repost the picture, but I figured some of you already have the image burned into your brain. It's not easily forgotten. For those of you who have not seen the picture or for those of you who can't get enough of it, click here.

The number one inquire: What happens to the crystals once your hair grows back?

I was going to research this question. From Googling the topic, the disco ball usually lasts about 5 days or so. I'm sure this number varies from individual to individual. I was going to go on and on on how the adhesive would wear off and how natural skin rejuvenation will occur. Blah blah blah! Boring.

I'm going to leave you with a comment that pretty much sums up what happens when the hair grows back. It's from Bethany from Organic Enchilada:

I would bet that when the hair grows back, it's like a reverse metamorphosis. Butterfly turns back into a fuzzy caterpillar.

There you go curious readers. Hope you learned something.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Flip-offs

I've been building up some aggression about everything and anything lately. I think it has to do with something called my monthly friend. Oh, there's one flip-off right there! Let's start and get some angry under control.

To PMS: I realize you're just doing your job of announcing the arrival of my monthly friend. If memory serves me right, the last time you didn't do your job, I had a lovely surprise 9 months later. I just wish you didn't make me so bipolar.

To 5 pounds: I've been trying to lose these 5 pounds even before I had kids. I have no idea where you came from. I don't get my reasoning of, "If I could only lose 5 pounds" I'm not on a show where I'm going to win thousands/millions of dollars. Losing you will not make me a happier person....well it might! Considering I haven't lost you, I'm still willing to find the happy person who is 5 pounds thinner.

To my laundry: I wish you would get some birth control! Better yet, go get snipped!!!! I don't understand how you can reproduce like hormone crazed bunny rabbits. You're overflowing into my bedroom.

To Cosmo for their bedazzled vajayjay (aka vajazzled) article: This is what has been burned into my brain. 

You have added one more thing to my "Oh hell no!" list and "H would kill me if I spent our hard earned money for this"....or would he????

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Count Down to Preschool

The upcoming school year is just around the corner. In just a few short weeks, children will be heading back to school. For me, it's bringing with it a mountain of mixed feelings.

You see, my 3 year old will be starting preschool. To me this isn't just any 3 year old. This is my first born. My baby girl. My Princess Ninja. I know eyes are rolling and thoughts of "Oh brother" and "Get over it" are screaming through my computer screen.

I think to myself: Isn't this what you wanted? Now you're having second thoughts. After all, preschool isn't mandatory. She can be mama's little girl for another year. 

After all the work it took to find the right preschool, I'm having mixed feelings. The Mister and I went through so much trouble trying to get her in. We had to search high and low to narrow down our list to a few schools. We chatted with parents to get their input. Then there were applications, application fees, interviews, and waiting lists. It was so stressful. On top of that, how do I even know it's the RIGHT preschool for HER?

I knew one day the big girl step of going to school would come. I realize this isn't even "real" school. It isn't even for the full-day. I really don't know why I'm hesitating about this.

I also realize this will be good for her. It'll allow her the opportunity to interact with kids her own age. To grow and learn. This will provide her with things I can't. She'll love it...I hope.

I know I'm being selfish, but can't I be selfish for one more year?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Letter to the Blond

I wanted to dedicate this to the blond gal that was in my kickboxing class.

Dear Barbie,
Since my workout sessions at the gym are so haphazard, I didn't realize that they changed the rules on me. It was only a few weeks ago that you can just walk right into the class. I wasn't aware that this particular teacher had a following and now it's mandatory to get a ticket to enter. I thank you for making space for me, because if you didn't, I'd drive myself back home and be pissed for the remainder of the night as I eat a dozen cupcakes to ease my anger.
I'm sure you could care less but making time to go to the gym takes a lot of time. Not only do I have to make sure I have someone to watch the kids, I have to start preparing hours in advance. I have to not only prepare the children's bags of various items, but I have to prepare myself mentally. 
 Please excuse me if you feel like the back of your neck is burning. It's only me admiring you. Even though I can tell you aren't a real blond, you somehow manage to work the bold, blond highlights. I like the way your toned arms don't flap the way mine do. If you don't mind me asking, what type of sports bra are you using? Somehow I feel the need to invest in a better one, so the girls look perky, like yours. Also, I'm in awe that your butt doesn't jiggle here and there the way mine does. 

 I also wanted to let you know I'm not giving you an evil stare. It's actually the sweat dripping in my eyes. It is causing me pain and I can't see the instructor. I'm squinting to lessen the burn and to focus on the teacher. Just to inform you, I'm not snarling at you either. I'm actually using some alpha-hydroxy pads that claim they can rejuvenate my skin and make me look younger. They cause my skin to be extremely sensitive to the acidic nature of my own perspiration. 

 Thank you once again,

PS After our workout, how would you like to get some cupcakes? If your diet doesn't allow for it, I'll eat your share and you can have my iced water with a wedge of lemon. 

Saturday, August 14, 2010

My 3 Day Weekend

If some of you read my last post, I have been in a state of blah lately. Yeah, my robot-zombie zone. The place where many tired, overworked parents go when they are just going through the motions of making it through the day.

The weekend isn't entirely over yet and I'm feeling like a totally new woman! I've finally come out of the funk I was in and actually feel like I'm human again. Human, meaning my new baseline since I've become a mother. Because, we all know you never quite feel like the same well rested person you used to be prior to having kids.

Last night, I attended a dinner that was being held for the volunteers of Fresh Start. For those that are unfamiliar with Fresh Start here is a little information that is on their website.
The organization threw us a wonderful Mardi Gras themed party. Although the food and entertainment was terrific, it was two of the guest that truly made my night. They were patients whose lives have been completely changed due to the Fresh Start. It was moving and humbling to see how volunteering can change an entire life! 

I'm feeling like Mama again. Like every great mother, I'm multi-tasking like a bad a**. For instance, I'm writing this post, cooking up lunch, and have the ingredients ready to make homemade Nutella poptarts from the Brown Eyed Baker. Laundry and bathroom sanitation is also on my agenda today. To top it off, the kids have been well behaved. In other words, the morning activities wore down the kids and they are currently napping. 

If this feeling continues, I might even have to MAKE the hubs cash in on his IOU card. :evil laugh and smirk:

To top it off, two, not just one, fellow blogger gave me the Foxy Mama Award. One was from Discovering the Me in Mommy and the other from TV's Take. Whooo Hoo!!! 

I hope everyone is having as great of a weekend as I am! 

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Robot-Zombie Zone

The weekend brought with it a large amount of work. I'm talking about the work that pays the bills, puts food on the table, and a roof over the family's head. I was leaving past midnight. Due to stress and lack of energy, my body was telling me to stop by to get some McDonald's french fries. Yeah, I know, so not good.  If you're up that late and on Twitter, then you probably read about my glorious stops. The weekend left me completely exhausted and useless at home.

I have to pause for a moment and give my husband massive amounts of kudos for watching the kids and keeping the house together. He really stepped up to the plate and kicked it up a notch. I would repay him with some great sex, but I'm too damn tired from actually working. I'm giving him an IOU on this. Yes, I'm posting it out there for all the world to see. I'm making it all official and legal.

MamaOnDaGo is giving her husband an IOU for sex because he's gone above and beyond and deserves it
Notarized and all that legal mumbo jumbo

Back to what I was originally going to discuss.

Work left me completely useless at home. We all know that our jobs as mothers and fathers does not stop because we are tired. The children continue to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. With day old mascara smeared upon my blood shot eyes (because I was too tired to do a decent job removing it), I would wake up. Actually, my body would be moving but my mind and my soul, I felt was elsewhere. I call this my robot-zombie zone.

The zone where I'm so exhausted I'm just going through the motions of being a mama. I neither really feel nor hear. My hands and body are moving as I play with the children, but I'm not really mentally there to enjoy this moment. Instead of being able to multi-task, I put efforts to even accomplish one task. At times, I just find myself zoning out even further. 

I'm glad I can look forward to a few days off. The fine print is I'll be off from work, but I'll be on full-mama duty. It'll be the Misters turn to make some dollars. I'm hoping a few days away from work will help me get out of the robot-zombie zone and refocus. I would say re-energize but that's asking way too much from being home alone with the kids. Here's to refocusing. 

Monday, August 9, 2010

Blogging Brings Families Together by Absolutely Narcissism

I want you all to discover the wonderful world of Absolutely Narcissism. As a sample presentation, she's been gracious enough to do a guest post for me. Please read, enjoy, and check out what else she has to offer. 

 Blogging Brings Families Together

The kids have been home for six weeks.
That’s approximately 44 days...I’ve even broken it down into hours, minutes, and seconds, but I’ll spare you the tedium.

It’s funny because there seems to be a general consensus out there that mothers are not looking forward to their kids going back to school. Whenever I read various blogs about this mommy who is warning her faithful readers that she won’t be posting for a few days in order to enjoy the last few days with her children before they go back to school, I’m always left with this intense guilt. What is wrong with me that I WANT my kids back in school?
Like right fucken now.

I have spent these past six weeks inviting other children over to play with mine; taking my kids to the beach on sunny days; taking them to the movies on rainy days; encouraging them to play in the pool; going for bike rides; hiking; fishing.
I’ve been doing as much as I can to keep them out of the house, entertained, occupied, and off the computer, Xbox, Wii, Playstation, and iPod.
In the process, I have been consciously limiting my time checking my email, Facebook, twitter, and blog.

Finally this week, I just gave up. I’ve had it. It’s been cloudy yet humid. Not conducive to the beach. Too sticky for outdoor activities. Too broke for indoor activities.

And I’m tired. No. That’s not accurate – I’m exhausted.

So I’ve been plunked on the couch, laptop in my lap, television playing Toddlers in Tiaras in a continuous loop, and have basically not discouraged my kids from anything. Do want you want as long as it doesn’t require me to get up from this couch.
What I’ve discovered though, is that rather than remaining glued to the electronic devices, they have been gravitating towards me.  Why? Because I have been blog surfing for two days straight, having a terrific time, laughing, talking to myself, and commenting out loud.
My kids love it. I don’t think they ever seen me this jubilant.

They want to know what I’m reading. Why I’m laughing. Who I’m talking to.
And I’ve been telling them: “This woman is so funny. She just wrote that her baby pulled her diaper off, and rubbed poop all over the walls.”
Of course, not at all funny for the blogger in question. But it’s poop. My kids love poop. They love saying it. They love hearing about it. And they especially love the visual of it smeared all over crib bars and walls.

Of course the mother in me tries to make this experience a learning one. I’ve described to them certain sadder blogs in which mothers are fighting illnesses – theirs or their children’s, always ending with a “you should be grateful you are healthy and happy.”

But in general, we like the inappropriate blogs. We’re all about the fecal matter.

Guest Blog on Tie A Little Ribbon

Tie A Little Ribbon gave me the opportunity to guest blog for her. If you haven't checked out her site, please do so. Also, you can catch her on Twitter @tiealittleribbon

Given this wonderful opportunity, I was perplexed on what to write about. If you're curious, check it out, be amazed and entertained! I promise you it's full of crap.

Guest blog on Tie A Little Ribbon 

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Tales of a Food Porn Addict

7 Celebration Cakes

Photo courtesy of The Food Network

I've known for many years that I have a LOVE for food. At first, I didn't really think much of it. It's not until recently that I've diagnosed myself with being addicted to food porn. Whether or not this is a true sickness, I'm not sure. There might also be a more appropriate term for my self-diagnosis. Regardless,  I love food, what's the big deal?

According to my last doctor visit, I'm a healthy weight. I have an appropriate BMI. My issue isn't necessarily with eating food (I could eat healthier though). Surprisingly, I'm a fairly picky eater. I don't even eat meat. This non-meat eating diet has evolved over the years to cut out various items. The evolution of a semi-vegetarian, dessert addict will have to be saved for a later post. Basically, I don't eat meat. I do eat seafood though. I'm sure there's an appropriate term for this as well. Every so often, I tell myself that I would eat a really good filet mignon, but I haven't in quite awhile. For now, let's just say semi-vegetarian.

As a young child, I can recall watching Julia Child and The Galloping Gourmet with Graham Kerr. We didn't have cable and this was way before the Food Network. Prior to having my own children, all I ever really watched was the Food Network. Literally!

The thought of food sends my senses into overdrive. I have a passion for food. I talk about food a lot. Reading and listening to various recipes sends my salivary glands into overdrive. I can look at pictures of food and be fascinated by it.

Sadly, I don't cook as much as I would like. To be quite frank, I'd rather hear and watch other people talk about food. See the problem here?

Although the taste of meat no longer really appeals to me, I enjoy hearing a chef talk about piling a burger with blue cheese crumbs and pairing it with sweet potato fries. I enjoy the sound of a steak being seared at a high temperature to seal in all its juices.
Picture of Hamburger with Double Cheddar Cheese, Grilled Vidalia Onion and Horseradish Mustard Recipe
Photo courtesy of the Food Network

Let's not even get on the subject of baking and desserts. My real weakness. I can probably go on and on.
All this talk of food is driving me wild. I need a cupcake!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

MacGyver Parents

Am I totally aging myself if I do a post that refers to MacGyver?

For those of you youngins, MacGyver was a show back in the 80s. I was fascinated by the show. It was basically about this guy, MacGyver, who was a secret agent. He'd go on all these special missions. The guy could escape anything and anyone using a few random things and his Swiss Army knife. He'd be able to make a bomb to get himself out of a bulletproof, soundproof safe by using ear wax and pocket lint. He'd be able to whip up a compass using a pencil and rubber band, so he could find his way back to the drop-off point. The guy was a genius. The guy was awesome!

Somewhere along our evolution as human beings, we were blessed with the MacGyver gene. Granted, this gene does not automatically turn on once a child is ripped from a women's body and the umbilical cord cut off. The gene remains dormant. It's buried deep in our chromosomes and one day emerges.

How else could you explain how we are able to entertain our children using Tupperware and a couple pencils? Voila, a drum set. Grab that mixing spoon and you have yourself a mic.

Who else turn couch cushions into a fort or castle?

The MacGyver parent can turn an empty box into a boat. The laundry basket into a rocket ship.

Like I said before, MacGyver was awesome, but once the MacGyver gene kicks in, a parent is a hero!

Monday, August 2, 2010

BlogHer: Not This Year

Just a few thoughts on why I'm not attending BlogHer.

1.) The idea of partying all night and schmoozing makes me tired just thinking about it
2.) Although Hubs has been supportive of my blogging, I can see him locking up the computer and our bank accounts from me
3.) Wait, Hubs wouldn't have to lock me out of our bank accounts because all payments would bounce anyways
4.) My "real" job, the one that puts food on the table and a roof over my family's head, doesn't feel that this conference counts as a business trip
5.) I don't think the people of BlogHer would appreciate my Mama Uniform
6.) I don't have time to lose 10 pounds on such short notice
7.) The NYC pollution is bad for my skin and lungs
8.) I've been trying to throw all the crap out of the house. Why do I need more awesome stuff even if it's free?
9.) I'm still feeling like the new girl in high school
10.) BlogHer would be like going to the prom...solo!

The reality is I've only been blogging for a few short months (how about almost 3 months). I'm very much a novice when it comes to all of this blogging/Twitter/FB mommy high tech stuff.  Quite frankly, I didn't know this conference existed. If it wasn't for all the mommy blogs talking about it, I would have continued on to live without knowing the existence of BlogHer. Heaven forbid!

Perhaps next year!

I know it's just the hurt talking...slightly jealous!

This Not Going To BlogHer was sponsored by A New Breed of Mom. Please feel free to join the rest of us who are not going to BlogHer.

Also part of BlogHerPityParty by Life Without Pink & Mommyfriend because there's just that much hurt  and jealousy. =)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mama Uniform

A few weeks ago I ran into a blog called Absolutely Narcissism by Sandra. On that particular day, the topic of discussion was clothing and dressing like a mom.

Like the vain woman that I am, I was searching for ways to give myself a little more style. Unfortunately, this particular post wasn't giving dress advice the way I had hoped. It was a post about a woman who felt that after a woman turns 30 and has kids, she should dress like it. Uh, what exactly does that mean? I apparently didn't get the email or manual when I became a mother or when I turned 30 because I have no idea how a 30+ year old mother is supposed to dress. Hence, the reason why I was looking for fashion advice.

I have what I like to call my Mama Uniform.

 Looks like Chubs is cursing someone out like an Italian mafia guy.
Dark top, jeans, shades, and hair in it's usual mess. After park photo.

   -Jeans. My staple go-to attire. Let's make note that they are not "mom" jeans. I deserve a little credit. I just like to make sure my crack isn't hanging out every time I sit or bend over. Variations: khakis, shorts, capris, and workout pants.
   -T-shirts. Variations depend on the weather: tunics, cardigans, sweatshirts, tank tops. 
   -Sunglasses: The bigger the better. No day is complete without shades. It not only provides me with protection but it also hides dark circles and bags way better than any concealer. 

 Looking through my closet, I've found that most of my tops are black, navy, brown, and a touch of white. I can pretty much pull any two items in my closet and it's guaranteed to match. Plus, darker colors tend to hide stains better and supposedly make you look slimmer. I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to find myself in a magazine with the shameful black rectangle on my eyes to protect my identity.

One of the main reasons I really don't put too much effort in clothing is because I always end up with mystery stains on them. It can be one or more of the following: saliva, various food items, mystery sticky substance, regurgitated items and dirt. The top also has to be boobie flash proof because Chubs has a tendency to pull my top down for the world to see the "girls." Princess Ninja is currently obsessed with the word "boobies" and likes to point and/or poke at mine. There is so much running, bending, crawling, kneeling, etc involved in my day that my clothing has to be comfortable and practical.

A few months ago, I was inspired to try to put a little more pizazz to my wardrobe. I invested in a few pieces of clothing that weren't too trendy but stylish. Shopping for these few items was stressful since I brought the kids with me. Another reason why I love online shopping. Since I can't try anything on, I tend to purchase more Mama Uniform-like items.  One of the new pieces also included a sundress. Whoa! I also busted out some of my pre-mama shoes that haven't seen sunlight in 3 years. I was feeling pretty good.

I put on my little sundress and comfortable wedges and sashayed out with the kids to start our day. Chubs kept lifting my dress exposing my albino legs and full-coverage panties. My feet were hurting from the wedges and the kids were able to out run me through various obstacle courses. Since that day, I was back to my "classic" style, the Mama Uniform.

Trying to stop the Italian mafia guy from coming out of Chubs.