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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Guest Post: Maureen from Tatter Scoops

If you don't know, I'm a full-time working mom. Often times I find it difficult and tiring trying to balance it all. Am I alone in my less than perfect Martha Stewart/Pottery Barn/Brady Bunch world? I wanted to know other people's thoughts and feelings on finding the balance between it all. Please share. 

I introduce you to Maureen from Tatter Scoops.  She was kind enough to share her perspective as a working mom. 
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When Mama on Da Go asked me to guest post about being a full time working mom, I was so flattered then I panicked!

What the heck do I really know? I’ve only been working for a little more than two weeks now! There are plenty of other working moms out there.

Before, I did some part time job from home, little things that doesn’t really consume my time but with the end of my marriage, I must push myself out there. Injecting my old self back into the corporate world…

It’s not easy! That’s for sure…from finding the job itself to leave my son on the first day.

Believe me, I cried!

I was missing him too much, I felt distant with the new people at work – they are nice but I still feel awkward being ask about my marital status, I felt guilty that I would be missing out my son’s daily activities. It was really tough.

Then I started to get into the rhythms of working again, secretly, I started falling back in love with my career. There’s this great feelings inside about being productive, satisfactions coming from outside motherhood.

Luckily, I am living with my parents. Got my son a nanny to help watching him, she seems to love him so that’s great. I don’t have to do the dishes, laundry, cleaning or cooking. My mom has an assistant who does all that. All I have to do is work, come home and spend what’s left of that day with my son, nanny will pretty much rest when I get home and took over. Sounds easy right? Not so much!

Often times, I’d come home feeling exhausted because my day started early, so early. Got up at 4 and left the house by 6 or 6:15. I’d rather come early, finish my job and doesn’t have to work overtime too much. On average I’m working 55-60 hours a week.

The boy has been doing great while his mommy is at work or so I’ve been told. Yet when I’m home, he’ll become super clingy, whiney and cranky leaving me overwhelmed. Maybe it’s just a phase until he get used to the idea that mommy is now working full time. I’m hoping it will get better and I won’t get too worked up over this.

He will start preschool next month…when he went to his preschool last week, my heart aches because I can’t take him. When I got home from work, I tried to absorb every little detail that my mom could remember and told me.

That’s just a beginning…

Sadly, I’m sure I will be missing out on a lot of little things that my boy would experience in preschool, with my schedule I won’t be able to drop him off and pick him up.

As hard as I wanted to be there 100% for him, I can’t be in two places at the same time so hopefully when he’s old enough to understand, he’ll know that I’m doing all this to give him a better future.
Balancing mommyhood and career is not easy, especially for a single mom. We may have extra helps from families or on my case, hired hands but there is a difference.

Learning to prioritize and setting limits are the keys, I think because frankly, we can’t all be supermom who juggles motherhood, career and being a domestic diva at the same time without sacrificing one or two things to keep the important parts up in the air.

Until I master these steps and learn how not to loose my mind…I would just take it one day at a time.

If you’re a working mom, how do you balance it all? Tips and tricks are welcome."

XOXO
Maureen 

12 comments:

  1. Maureen
    It's great that you have such a support system in place! I am sure that he will understand as he gets older. He knows how much you love him! You are a great and strong mom!

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  2. When I worked full time I just kept thinking one day at a time, one task at a time. Just keep plugging along and doing the best that you can.

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  3. I love that you featured Maureen. She is such a strong lady who just oozes love for her little guy.

    Balancing acts are tough. I've no secrets, but it's always reassuring reading that others are struggling with the same things.

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  4. I like how you said that you are doing it all to give your son a better future. He will definitely appreciate that someday!

    MamaOnDaGo, I just wanted to let you know that you totally guessed correctly on my 5 lies quiz! You know it! :) (I linked to you in my post today)

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  5. I'm a wahm/sahm all wrapped up in one. I've also done the wohm. And it's all hard to me. Having kids and juggling everything from being a wife, a mom, having a career is all great, but definitely challenging.

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  6. MamaOnDaGo, thank you for having me here! It's wonderful and comforting to know that we're not alone in struggling to juggle everything.

    @ Audra: Thank you, I am very very lucky to have the supports that I have here :)

    @ TV's Take: Thanks for sharing! I'm doing just that these days, one thing at a time is all I could do.

    @ Booyah's Momma: Awww you're so sweet! Thank you so much. It is reassuring for sure to know most working moms sometimes even SAHM struggle with very similar things...keeping up the balance

    @ Kelley: Thank you so much! Have to keep reminding myself of that when I see the office politics starting to show around the corner or when I miss my son too much while I'm at work.

    @ Eleana: Challenging is so true, girl! That's why I admire other moms who work outside the home with two or more children - just like MamaOnDaGo!

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  7. it does get better. i used to work 50 hours a week and it's tough. i would also rather get home early and have the evening with my kids.

    when i'm home, i'm home... no work stuff (unless i really have to during nap time).

    it probaby is a phase he's going thru, so don't worry. it will pass. plus, he probably just misses you!

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  8. He will be fine. I promise. My kids are always clingy when I come home. I think it is sort of a release. With us they can be however they want and they know that we will love them. That allows them to let the stress of the day out. Yes, it is hard and frustrating and it isn't something you really get used to (at least I haven't), but try to remember that it is a sign that he loves you.

    I've worked full time since my daughter was one. Some days it is hard and the guilt is overwhelming. For real. But then some days it is nice to be able to get away.

    My main tip for managing is have a schedule. Not that I do, but it is the best way to be. If you do the same things at the same time your son will get used to it and so will you and it will make things easier for you.

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  9. @ Julia: I'm trying to do that too but just last night I got an emergency call from one of our new hired Aussie in the middle of me putting my son to sleep. Talk about interruption but I guess I'll have to get used to it. My son seems ok with it he even asked to talk on the phone too LOL. Thank you for sharing your own experience and kind words!

    @ Jeniffer: Thank you for putting a new perspective. I'm so focused on trying to help him ease the transformed new routine of not having mommy at home that I completely didn't realized that you are right...he's letting the stress out too and he can be himself with me. It is hard because I worked in a very high paced industry - I 'shipped' more than 30 people last week alone - so by the time I got home I'm all exhausted. Thank you for your tips too, really appreciate it!

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  10. I try to organize my day so that I have all of the errands that I need to accomplish written down. I also use the grocery, dry cleaners and shopping places that are convenient to the path that I travel to work. Unfortunately, we working moms start our day thinking of what we need to do to make the day go smooth at home and end our days the same way. The job inbetween is just a distraction;) Luckily I love my job. It all seems to flow and you just get use to it. Organization is the key. Also if it does not get done....then so be it:)

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  11. Maureen, it's wonderful that you have help from your mother and the support of a nanny, but you and your son are both still adjusting to the change. It is challenging to find a balance between working and mothering, but it will be easier once you both get into the habit of your new lifestyle.

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  12. My mom worked after my dad left, but she chose to work at our school so we'd have the same schedule. I think you're doing great, and I'm glad you have such a support system!

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