Thursday, November 18, 2010

Twice In One Month...WTH!

So there I am, sitting there in a semi-reclined position with a my mouth wide open and a light shining in my face.

No, it's not some sexy new position that H and I have going on. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about my dentist visit.

Yes, the dentist. How many times a year am I supposed to see him?

Twice. It's highly recommended that I visit the dentist twice a year. They remind me it's been almost a year since my last visit.  Really, it's been that long?

I sit there, the dental hygienist is literally scraping and pulling plaque out of my mouth. I feel like someone is running their fingernails across a chalkboard. She continues on to tell me that I should floss more often because there is a large amount of plaque build-up in my mouth.

Alright, let's get on the subject of flossing. I don't floss everyday. I know I should. Seriously, I'm just glad I'm able to bath and brush my teeth every day. That alone is an accomplishment.

Like many of you, don't deny it either, I some how think I can fool my dentist. If I start flossing a week before my visit, maybe my gums won't bleed so much. Maybe, just maybe, I won't hear the flossing lecture.

I continue to sit there. The hygienist places some type of gum measuring device between all my teeth. She dictates numbers to the other hygienist who notes each number down.

What the hell does all that numerical mumbo jumbo mean?

Well it means that my attempts to start flossing a week before my visit isn't fooling anyone. I did not dodge the important flossing lecture. They even took out the fake teeth. Teeth that are perfectly straight and shiny. Teeth that are free of plaque. Gums that are healthy.

They take out another pair of fake teeth. Teeth that have been neglected. Teeth that are missing and brown. Teeth that are so scary that I've been flossing every night.

Good news is I'm cavity free.  Bad news, I have to go back for a DEEP CLEANING. UGH!


  1. I used to floss every day. Now, I agree, I'm happy to shower. At night, my face washing routine often involves those pre-moistened cleansing towelettes. You are not alone!

  2. I had a lot of cavities growing up and as a young adult. I started flossing every morning and suddenly, picture perfect oral hygiene. Once you make it a habit, you'll never go back! I mean never go back to not flossing - you still have to go to the dentist.

  3. My kids go to the dentist twice a year, but me? Try twice a decade! To my credit, however, I do floss twice a year. Ha, ha, ha (with my mouth closed).

  4. Confession time. I haven't been in five years. I know, I know. I need to make an appointment.

  5. I do the same thing...I start flossing a few days prior to going to the dentist, and yes, it doesn't fool anyone...

    I'm sending an award your way:

    Congrats on being wonderful!

  6. my flossing habits revolve around the amount of pesto and or steak stuck in my teeth.

    i'm with ya.

  7. I visit the dentist once a year. I refuse to go twice. He's damn lucky I make it the once. I figure if he was truly that concerned about his practice and return customers... he'd find a to clean my teeth without using instruments straight out of the Exorcist. Just sayin'

  8. I need to get to the dentist. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving! Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

  9. Oh yikes, this post reminds me that I haven't been to the dentist in ages LOL. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving Day, lady!

  10. OMG, so funny. Hubs and I are bad about religious flossing too and about a month before our dental visists we go into flossing mania to hurry and toughen up our gums. It never workds, the hygienist totally knows.

  11. I am SO glad I'm not alone!

    Thanks for having the guts to share this one :)