What a Morning

The day did not start off well at all. Not only did I get kicked numerous times during the evening hours by Princess Ninja, my slumber was interrupted by the soothing irritating sounds of both children crying this morning.

To Princess Ninja: Perhaps if you stayed in your lovely, comfy bed, Mama would not have to continually reposition you. Oh did I wake you, sorry! I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't kick me in the face in the middle of the night. Actually, I would appreciate it if you didn't kick, slap, or try to push me off the bed.

Chubs: I have no idea what you have to cry about in the morning. You were fed well, so you couldn't be hungry. I held you, hugged you, gave you numerous kisses and even read your favorite book 5 times!!!! Don't tell me I'm not giving you enough attention.

By this afternoon, I was at my wits end. Princess Ninja continually kept throwing things in the air. I reminded her three times to not throw things in the house. Angry Mama finally came out when her little throw toy decided to land and bounce on some delicate equipment, the television. Luckily nothing broke. Princess Ninja ended up having some alone time in her room, so she can think about why we don't throw things in the house. Current status: fast asleep.

Chubs was being unreasonable. He wanted me to hold him. 10 seconds later, he wanted to be put down. As I placed him down, he would stomp around the house throwing a fit. Then he'd want me to hold him. Then he wanted to put down. It was getting old very fast!

He couldn't possibly need another nap. He just woke up from a hour slumber less than an hour ago. Hmm, perhaps you're hungry. As I fed him AND held him, he would suck the juices out of his food and spit it ever so cutely in my face and then cry about it.

Chubs ended up back in his room. I let him think about his actions cry it out for 10 minutes. The next thing I knew, silence!!! Current status: fast asleep.

The house is silent! Hallelujah!!!!

Preschool

Preschool! The educational foundation that every child builds upon. It's the first brick that will help build and determine how successful your child will be in the future. Ivy league college or permanent fixture on Mama's couch? The pressure!

Does any of that sound familiar?

No one ever told me that finding and getting into a top preschool was like applying for college. First of all, the choices out there was mind blowing: Montessori, private school, public school (which you still pay for by the way).

Research had to be done: student-teacher ratio, parent volunteering requirements, comments and recommendations by other parents, awards, licenses, tuition, waiting list.

Waiting lists! Yes, there are waiting lists to get into preschool! Really?!?! Yes! Some so-called top notch preschools have waiting lists so long you can be waiting years.

I later find out there is also an interview. Someone wants to interview my 3 year old daughter. What exactly are you going to ask her? I can tell you she barely listens to her parents. Good luck in trying to interview her. Great, we may not get into a preschool.

The interview isn't just the 3 year old. It's a family interview. What exactly do you want to know about the family? Is there a criminal background check involved as well? Great, we may not get into a preschool.

We actually had to decide on our top 4 preschools. Like I mentioned, it's like applying to college. In case, you didn't get into your #1 choice, you want to have back-ups.

Did I mention application fees? These were not cheap either. We're talking triple digits. Non-refundable. They made that very clear.

After all of that, there are deadlines to meet. Make sure the paperwork is completed and handed in by this date. Your child will not be a candidate if all necessary paperwork is not completed and turned in by said date. Interviews had to be completed by this day. Letters and notifications of acceptance will be mailed out on this date.

Well, those dates were marked and circled on the calendar. We waited and waited. Is it like college? Thick envelope is good. Thin envelope is the letter of doom.

Luckily, our top 4 choices for preschools had their notifications being sent out during the same week. In that one week, Princess Ninja's entire future will be determined. Can I get any more dramatic with this?

At the end of this whole process, Princess Ninja was able to get into choice 1 & 2 for preschool. We ultimately decided to accept the offer for our #1 choice. Obvious, right?

Preparations have already began for the first day of preschool. I'm sure there will be posts about this. Prepare yourselves for crying and an emotional wreck.

Mr. Pig

I have a teething 1 year old!!!! I think that about sums up the week.

Chubs has not sprouted teeth since December 2009. I kid you not. The boy had 8 brand spanking new teeth to welcome 2010.

Then last week, badda bing badda boom, my sweet little boy turned crazy. He became bipolar. One second he wanted me to hold him. The next second he wanted to be put down. Over and over again. It was quickly getting old.

Then there were the screams in the middle of the night. Goodness!!! I even tried medicating the poor kid. Motrin AND Tylenol...or should I say the generic brands of these drugs. It bought a few precious moments of shut eye.

Teething rings, frozen waffles, toys, various body parts of my husband all fell victim to Chubs.

Here is one such victim. Mr. Pig.

Mr. Pig is now deaf. Chubs almost got his snout off too.

Mr. Pig is left with one leg.

Poor Mr. Pig

Mr. Pig was a stress ball shaped like...well a pig. He was actually Princess Ninja's toy. I guess Chubs was so stressed about teething that Mr. Pig is no longer the same.

For those of you who are concerned, Chubs did not swallow any of Mr. Pig's parts. He was so gracious enough to spit them out on the floor.

To give the week that added boom it was missing, Princess Ninja was bitten in the eye. Breathing, eating, playing. A few days later, she was back to normal.

What a great week! Glad it's over!

The Good, The Bad, & MY Ugly

I think many of us envisioned what being a mom would be like. This beautiful bundle of joy that we would cherish and love. Those little hands and feet that we would caress. Those adorable cheeks that we would kiss and kiss and kiss. Don't forget that wonderful smile and giggle.

From the very beginning of both of my pregnancies, I had a wonderful experience and was overjoyed. Of course, there was the weight gain, the cravings, the weird things that would go on with my body that no book could come close to describing. I tried to cherish each pregnancy regardless.

The funny thing about Mother Nature is that she hypnotizes us with all these precious little things our baby does that it makes us develop amnesia. I guess if we remembered the pain of child birth, the lack of sleep, and the many other things that occur, we would be a dying species.

Yes, I did fall immediately in love with my children the moment they were placed in my arms. The love has just grown and grown. *happy music starts to play in the background, flowers and rainbows appear*

Now it's time for MY ugly. My personal confession. I hate to even admit to this, but I thought I'd share. After reading numerous books on the joys of being a mother, I never came across anyone that ever stated any real negativity to it.

Prior to having children, I will admit that I had very little patience and I was very much consumed with ME. Having children has definitely changed my level of patience and how little me time there is. I feel that 95% of my life revolves around the kids. This is a rough estimate, of course. I'm sure you get the idea of what I'm saying. Especially since they are so young, 3 and 1, they are so dependent upon me. I knew this part prior to having them. I definitely didn't expect them to be self-sufficient beings right from the get go.

There are moments when I absolutely dislike being a mom. Yes, I said it. Yes, there is still a feeling of guilt, but it's the truth. At first, I felt truly guilty to having these feelings. I felt I wasn't being a good mother. Maybe there was something wrong with my motherly wiring. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's just the truth. Regardless, I know that I'm a good mom. I love my children, but I don't love every single minute I have with them.

There are the drives when all I can hear is the stereo sound of the two of them crying and fighting in the background. Moments when all I'm trying to do is go use the bathroom and one, if not both of them, are in there with me. The tantrums over, literally, spilled milk. The lack of patience that drives me nuts. The sound of me asking the 3 year old to do something over and over again. There are the times when the sound of, "Mama" or "Mommy", actually brings a tension down my neck and back because the tone of it is done in just that way. The way the 1 year old is on me like white on rice and all I need is to have a moment without anyone in my bubble. I can go on and on.

Deep down, I enjoy my 1 hour of alone time at the gym. My hour of just sweating and working out my inner aggressions of life. I do enjoy it when my husband comes home from work early and I am no longer out numbered by the kids. I like the end of the day when both kids are quietly sleeping and my personal bubble is unoccupied. I enjoy getting my hair done where I can sit quietly and read tabloid/beauty magazines and hope the hair dresser is not in a chatty mood. Yes, these are some of my deep down guilty pleasures.

Maybe that's also why Mother Nature has developed unconditional love. A love that can withstand anything. A love that causes all the bad aspects to be overlooked. A love so deep that it's indescribable. Unconditional love has to be what I have for these two because I definitely wouldn't be able to put up with them if it wasn't.

Crazy Morning

My job requires me to start at various hours of the day. When I say various, I mean various. I can be on-call 24/7 on some days/nights. For the most, the main part of my profession, I usually can start somewhere between 7:00AM-9:30AM. Of course, this high demand on me isn't the easiest for my family life. Some days, I can leave before the kids wake up and come home when they're already asleep or just about to. Sniff....I hate those days!

I don't mean to sound FBI, CIA, I love Chuck, but I can't go into any more details. My job involves a lot of privacy, life and death situations, if I told you someone would kill me or you stuff.

I love starting early. AKA before the kids wake up. Yes, it's hard waking up...it always is. If I can get an early start time, I can get ready, sit down to eat breakfast, and enjoy a cup of Joe (or two). It's my one moment of me time before the chaos of the day starts.

Today was not the case. I had a late start time. The kids woke me up before my alarm clock did. Once the kids get up, the day is in full swing....ready or not. As best I could, I try to get them situated with their breakfast and the tv. Yes, more often than not, I use the tv as a babysitter. I try to buy myself time, so I can get ready for work.

I had a bad mama moment. For breakfast, the kids had brownies, cookies, and milk (the one healthy part). I really didn't have time or the energy to argue with them. The bowl of cereal I initially prepared was thrown on the ground by Chubs (the 1 year old). Princess Ninja (who is 3 years old) kept carrying around the little baggy full of brownies and insisted that I open it. I'm definitely not proud of this no-no.

As best I could, I tried to shovel cereal and a banana into my mouth. At the same time, I have the 3 year old sitting on my lap and the 1 year old clawing on my leg. Right before I run out the door, I inhale a cup of coffee.

I hate mornings like these. I'm running around like a crazy woman trying to get everything ready. The kids are crying for my attention and someone usually has to peel them off of my body, so I can leave for work. During the car ride to work, I try to not feel guilty and take some deep breaths to try and relax myself. To top it all off, I'm probably going 25 mph because of all the traffic. By the time I pull into my parking spot at work, I'm exhausted and stressed. My 10-12+ hour work day has yet to even start. I'm begging Calgon to take me away!

Photo Session with Manette

A few days ago, my friend, Manette, came over for a photo session, cookies, and Pinkberry. It was a fun afternoon!

Manette's a budding photographer and fellow Twilight lover. In honor of the Twilight series, we wanted to do a mini photo session with the kids. It allowed Manette to practice and play with her new gadgets, while it captured what a moment in my life is like with my kids. I think she's one of my few friends that shares my love for the Harry Potter series and Twilight sagas. Check out more of her photos and blogs.

Just to give you guys a little background, the setting was my messy family room. I picked up the kids after another long day at work and headed home. I threw on my Team Edward shirt (that I will be wearing to my Eclipse premiere) and popped some cookies in the oven. Manette was kind enough to purchase a People magazine (prop/business expense). We just let my kids do what they normally do...laugh, scream, jump, and run. Here are some of the pictures she captured. The kids loved it!

My 1st Pregnancy

As I write this blog, I can see my 3 year old playing quietly out of the corner of my eye. First of all, she never really plays quietly to herself. Second, I have a 3 year old!

Hubs and I have been married for almost 4 years when we started thinking about having a child. We had our little home and our careers going. On top of that, I was mid-way into my 29th year of life. We all know what comes after 29....the big 3-0.

I think, like most women, perhaps not all, the big 3-0 usually means something big. Honestly, I was just ready to start our family. Well sort of kind of ready. There was a piece of me that couldn't put the biological clock on snooze any longer. There was a piece of me that was nervous and uncertain.

In the back of my mind, I knew the freshness seal on my eggs was no longer a brand spanking new "Fresh" sign. It was starting to fade and the "Fresh" was becoming more of a "Fres". The "h" barely legible.

But, Hubs and I were ready to try. We just knew it was the right time for us.

About a month later, after making that life changing decision, my monthly visitor decided not to show up. I remember hurrying to the store to buy a pregnancy kit. I actually bought a few different ones. I was so excited to pee on that little stick. I read the instructions a few times. I laid the stick on the bathroom counter just right. I stared at that little window. I waited in anticipation as the double lines slowly appeared on one kit. One kit had a "+" sign. Yet another kit said, "Pregnant". I literally bought every type of kit possible. Just in case I couldn't read two lines, a plus sign or the word pregnant.

Yay, we were pregnant!!!!! I was sooooo excited!

I had one of those pregnancy books that would tell you what to expect at each month. I would read each monthly section as I would approach it. I made sure I didn't skip prematurely to the next month. Some of my books had little pictures of what my little peanut looked like. Each month, the picture changed into something less alien-like and more human-like.

With all that excitement, there was an equal amount of worry. So many things could go wrong. Chromosomes and cells had to split just right. A little bit of this and not too much of that had to be exact. You can't have any alcohol, increase your calcium, remember to take your prenatal vitamins, etc.

It's wonderful how a simple conversation.

Mama: What do you think about having kids?

Hubs: Sure.

Turned into the little girl that's playing quietly with her Legos! Amazing!!!!!

Having a Moment

Here I am at 11:30pm with another early start time at work tomorrow. Mind you I have not had a day off all week (Sun-Fri). Only day off this week is Saturday. I was even contemplating going in for a few hours in the later afternoon. Then Hubs brought me back to my senses and told me I shouldn't.

I was having a moment, just now. I was upstairs getting ready to call it a night. I was thinking back to an incident last week. I had to come downstairs and write about it. I wanted to remember this feeling for next time.

Rewind to last week:

A beautiful, sunny afternoon. I had the morning and early afternoon off until I had to go to work later. Hubs and I took the kids to our local neighborhood splash park. It's literally an area in the park with water squirting everywhere.

I've taken the kids there before. Each time, I had to restrict their water soaking activities because no one was dressed appropriately. You can get completely soaked.

That afternoon we were ready to get soaked. The kids were in the swim outfits and lathered in sunscreen. We packed a little snack for later. Hubs and I were in our swim outfits.

Mind you, my swim outfit for this particular afternoon consisted of long board shorts and a bikini top that could withstand moving every which way to keep up with the kids. I threw on a white shirt on top for the ride over.

We get there and Princess Ninja darts off. Chubs was hesitant. He was sticking to me like white on rice. There were a fair amount of people there. Kids were running around the water area. Parents were on the outskirts sitting and watching.

The kids that day were a mix crowd. Older elementary to toddlers. Of course, the older kids were running around splashing and having fun. I also noticed that the other parents weren't participating in the activities. A few parents would allow themselves a splash here and a splash there. None were allowing themselves the opportunity to splash to their full potential.

After noticing this, I turned to Hubs and told him no one else was wearing a swim suit. Not only this, but no other mom was wearing a swim outfit and joining in with their kids. Most adult supervision were sitting down and watching. Like I mentioned earlier, a few parents here and there would get their feet wet.

I could tell Chubs wanted to start having fun but not solo. Hubs told me to just go in with my white t-shirt and board shorts. Um, no, there will be no wet T-shirt contest at the neighborhood splash area.

Hubs eventually took off with his paparazzi camera and started capturing those precious moments on digital film. Princess Ninja was clear across the park and giggling away. I was left there holding Chubs, who was so patiently waiting to have fun.

Hesitantly, I took off my cover shirt. No, it was not done in that slow motion Baywatch type of action either. It was more like, hurry up before Chubs starts crying type of motion.

There I was in my neighborhood park appropriate swim attire. Yes, I was feeling a little self-conscious. Why was I the only wearing a swim suit and playing with my kids? It wasn't so much that I was playing with my kids that made me self-conscious, but I was wearing less than usual doing it.

Forward back to now:

I just looked at the pictures that Hubs took at the splash park that particular day. Princess Ninja had a smile bigger than Texas on her face. Chubs was full of curiosity and wonder. There I was in my mommy appropriate swim gear having fun with my kids....after letting go of being so self-conscious.

I feel guilty enough that I work so much. I always feel like I'm missing out on such a large portion of their lives. My kids are growing up so fast. It seems like it gets faster and faster with each passing year. There I was, about to miss out on a wonderful memory because of my own insecurities.

I'm promising myself to never let my own feelings of self-consciousness get in the way of being there for my kids. Life is too short to wonder when we should be doing.

Solo Mission with the Kids

It's was a beautiful Friday here in SoCal. The sun was out and, most importantly, Mama had a day off! On top of that, I was able to get a solid 6 hours of sleep the night before. Feeling energized, with the help of 2 cups of morning coffee, I decided that I'd take the kids out to Sea World. Solo! Some may refer to this as a suicide mission. Alone, at an amusement park, with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. What possessed me to be so adventurous?

Dada had to go to work and make some $$$ to support this SoCal lifestyle of ours.

The preparation began early. It's usually quite a circus act trying to get the diaper bags, cooler, the kids and myself all ready to go. I want to get there and enjoy the sites before the Sandman comes along and turns the kids into psychotic/beyond reason/please stop crying & quite this tantrum loonatics. The preparation alone can be quite exhausting. I paced myself since I knew the big mission was still upon us.

Chubs, the 1 year old, falls asleep in the car. Nice, I think to myself. Princess Ninja, the 3 year old, is excited and has the biggest grin on her face. It's enough to make me not turn the car around and head straight home.

Luckily, Sea World wasn't too crowded on this fine Friday afternoon. We were able to find a parking spot right away. After struggling with the stroller and balancing the diaper bag and a few supplies, I was ready to get the kids out of the car. Problem, where is that darn cooler that's full of sippy cups!? I could have sworn I packed it. Um, think again! I'd figure out something once the kids get thirsty.

Let the games begin!!!!

We headed straight to the Sesame Street Bay of Play. There's an Elmo ride that the kids love. It's very similar to the flying Dumbo ride at Disneyland. Here I am, holding Princess Ninja's hand and carrying Chubs on the opposite hip. We get to the front of the line and the lady proceeds to tell me that I can't take both kids on the ride. There seems to be a 1 child to 1 adult rule. No exceptions.

The little Princess was not taking this rule well. She began to throw a mini tantrum as I walked us over to the next ride.

Princess Ninja: I want to ride Elmo!

Mama: We can't. We have to have Dada with us. This next ride will be fun, I promise.

Princess Ninja: No, it won't!

Mama: Yes, it will, I promise. (angry voice starting to come out)

Princess Ninja: I want to ride Elmo!

Mama: Do you want to go home? (angry voice getting angrier. I'm carrying Chubs so I'm trying not yell in his ear)

Finally it's our turn to ride this spinning teacup type ride but with Sesame Street characters. We get to the front of the line and the guy stops us. (I know for a fact this is not a 1 adult to 1 kid ride). He wants to see Chubs walk! Apparently, this ride has a "you must walk, to ride this ride rule."

I put Chubs down. He stands there with his arms up, wanting me to carry him. Great, I thought, the one time we really need you to walk. I take a step back, hoping Chubs takes a step. You know if we don't get on this ride, Princess will have a MAJOR tantrum. One step. That's all I'm asking for.

Yay! Chubs walks towards me and the man in charge is satisfied. The line behind us starts to look less angry. Smiles all around. The kids enjoyed the ride.

The rest of the day was pretty much the same way. Minor bumps here and there. The angry Mama voice did come out a few times. I had to carry a child on each hip so they can both see the penguins. Eventually the kids got thirsty and I had to spend $12 on an ugly, scary dolphin souvenir cup that was full of sugar, make your kids hyper lemonade that I made them share. Princess refused to go to the bathroom and I prayed she wouldn't have an accident. That would have been the icing on the cake, wouldn't it? Right before we leave the park, I buy them a Shamu cookie...it's tradition.

As we strolled back to the car, the Sandman was really doing a number on Chubs. He was starting to get belligerent. I was able to strap everyone into their car seats and load the car with our millions of pounds of supplies, minus that darn cooler.

Princess Ninja and Chubs fall asleep on the way home! We all managed to survive the trip. The end!

Here's a picture of the $12 scary dolphin cup. They look possessed and are about to attack me. I think I'm going to get rid of this thing before the kids start asking for it.

Guess what I saw sitting on top of the counter? The darn cooler!!!!

Side note: used Laura Mercier oil-free tinted moisturizer and it held up nicely.

Nocturnal Ninja

Night has finally fallen upon us. I can call it a day. As I fall deeper and deeper to sleep.....BAM! I get kicked in the rib. BOOM! I get karate chopped in the face. One minute I'm looking at a foot in my nose. The next minute I'm being pushed closer and closer to the edge of the bed.

It's another visit from the Nocturnal Ninja.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and even the Tooth Fairy visit less than this sneaky Ninja. I can usually expect a few visits during the week from this butt-kicking fighting machine. This Ninja knows how to slowly wear me away. Hours of sleep have been lost.

The Nocturnal Ninja, also known as my 3 year old daughter, sneaks into my bed and performs 360s that can win a gold medal in the Olympics.

I actually tried to contain her in her crib for as long as I could. Like all well-trained fighting machines, she still managed to climb out and end up in my bed. The transition to the big girl bed was inevitable.

I thought pretty pink bed sheets and bright, colorful blankets would make the big girl bed more appealing. Luckily, after a few bedtime stories, prayers, and kisses, she manages to fall asleep in her room. Some time during the evening, when I'm fast asleep, she manages to sneak back into my bed and kick my butt yet again.!

Hello. Is this the police?

Hello.

Is this the police?

Yes, I'd like to report an attempted murder.

The suspect was a female.

A little over 3 feet tall, approximately 3 years old, dark hair, brown eyes.

She was wearing a brown, long sleeve top with pink leggings.

Yes, I think it's the same person as last time.

This time she had an accomplice though.

He's a male.

It's hard to tell how tall he is. Maybe a little over 2 feet.

I think he was intoxicated. He was walking make that wobbling.

Drool everywhere.

Dark hair as well with brown eyes.

He had light pants on and a long sleeve top.

No, I don't recall the color of the top.

I just remember it was filthy and full of stains.

I think they are conspiring to kill me.