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Monday, July 12, 2010

How It All Began

Once upon a time there was a barely 20 year old sophomore college gal. She was just your semi-typical, yet semi-responsible, college student who was thrilled with the new found freedoms of college, but was still trying to find her way into the adult world.

One day in the college library, as she sat with her friends discussing everything but class lectures, an almost 23 year old guy came by to talk to one of her friends. This guy just happened to catch the gals fancy. I bet you this 23 year old guy was quite smitten by the barely 20 year old gal!

That's my very Cliff Notes version of how Hubs and I met. I think it's also one of the few details that we could probably agree upon. That beginning was almost 13 years ago!!!!

When I met Hubs, I was actually dating someone else. Like I mentioned, I was young and in college. I wasn't looking for Mr. Right or my future husband. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that exact moment in time would change my life forever.

I went out on dates and dated a few guys before I met the future Mr. MamaOnDaGo. Yeah, if I started to date someone more exclusive, it was probably because I thought they were nice guys. There was probably some type of chemistry between us that deserved to be discovered. I will admit, my dating and past relationships pretty much ended the same way. Is there a nice way to ever break-up with someone?

Hubs, or shall I say pre-Hubs, was different. Does that sound like a cliche? He was this older guy (at least older than me), he drove a smashingly cool car, he was suave, he was nice, and most of all he was cute. What else could a college sophomore want?

One date led to another and another. Before I knew it, months of dating became years of marriage. We will be celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary in a few days!!!! I'm very excited!

Some of our engagement pictures taken in beautiful, sunny San Diego (circa early 2003)

Looking back, the relationship that Hubs and I have has changed so much through the years. There were the initial discussions of our likes and dislikes, what we did in our spare time, do we want to continue this relationship, if he doesn't call me "I'm going to get pissed".

I haven't seen these pictures in quite awhile.

Dating anniversaries were monthly...you know in case we never really made it to the year mark. Those monthly anniversaries consisted of dinners, flowers, little gifts and surprises. The early part of our marriage consisted of yearly vacations, dinners, flowers, little gifts and surprises. Are you seeing a pattern? Oh those more carefree days.

Cheesy yet beautiful at the same time. =)

As we approach our 7 year wedding anniversary, there are no longer discussions of what we enjoy in our spare time, only because, there is NO spare time. LOL! To be honest, sometimes we can go on for days without having a real discussion. The kids have consumed almost every square inch of time and space in our lives. I say almost because we try to make it a point to reconnect with each other. Like having children, marriage is something that needs attention, nurturing, work, patience, and love.

I hear so many stories of couples who divorce after 20+ years because they've grown apart. I can see how this can happen. Life takes over and couples often forget about constantly reconnecting with each other. People do change. Hubs and I are definitely not the same people we were 13 years ago. If we were, I think we'd have a serious problem.

In another 20 years, I picture the kids grown and life will again change the people we are today. I want to be able to lay out on a beach in Hawaii with Mr. MamaOnDaGo and look back at the great journey we've experienced and have the following toast:


"Here's to another 20 years!!!! Where can we travel to next? I love you!"

Mai Tai or wine in hand (who knows what alcoholic beverage I may enjoy in 20 years)
Also, let's note how great I look because the kids will be independent. Gym and I can reconnect.

I'm no Dr. Phil or Dr. Ruth. In fact, I'm not a Dr. Any advice like element is strictly my own personal experience.

7 comments:

  1. Aww what a beautiful love story you two have and you are a beautiful couple! Love all the pictures especially the silhouette one! Happy early anniversary for you both :)

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  2. I love the photos! You are a wonderful looking couple. Happy anniversary to you!

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  3. The photos were glorious.

    "
    I hear so many stories of couples who divorce after 20+ years because they've grown apart." Believe it because that is exactly what happened to me after 16 years. So you HAVE TO ensure that you grow WITH each other and TOGETHER. If you do not make time to do things together all the time, there will not be a "we" any more.

    I know all that sounds frightening, but it is so true.

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  4. I love your perspective on love.

    It is so true that we change over the years and I think as people we probably change more over the ten years of leaving home, university, first jobs etc than any of time in our lives.

    The real danger in meeting someone in that part of our lives is that we have not yet fully become who we are. If you have got through that time and are still strong now then I am sure you have a solid future ahead of you.

    After 14 years of marriage and a house filled with noise and kids I too daydream about the future, lying on a beach, cocktail in hand watching the sunset.....!

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  5. What a beautiful story - and some good advice. We're nearing just our second anniversary this year - and have some friends starting round two - so it's great to read about couples making it work through kids and other life changes.

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  6. That's an awesome story. I never would have found your blog if you hadn't shared in my blog frog community. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Kim

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  7. LOL... i just read this... i do believe i was the friend that pre-hubs came over to talk to in the library (as you put it), the reality is, he came over so that i could introduce you to him... love your story, love your advice, love that you're in my life...

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