I've been building up some aggression about everything and anything lately. I think it has to do with something called my monthly friend. Oh, there's one flip-off right there! Let's start and get some angry under control.
To PMS: I realize you're just doing your job of announcing the arrival of my monthly friend. If memory serves me right, the last time you didn't do your job, I had a lovely surprise 9 months later. I just wish you didn't make me so bipolar.
To 5 pounds: I've been trying to lose these 5 pounds even before I had kids. I have no idea where you came from. I don't get my reasoning of, "If I could only lose 5 pounds" I'm not on a show where I'm going to win thousands/millions of dollars. Losing you will not make me a happier person....well it might! Considering I haven't lost you, I'm still willing to find the happy person who is 5 pounds thinner.
To my laundry: I wish you would get some birth control! Better yet, go get snipped!!!! I don't understand how you can reproduce like hormone crazed bunny rabbits. You're overflowing into my bedroom.
To Cosmo for their bedazzled vajayjay (aka vajazzled) article: This is what has been burned into my brain.
photo from http://redriver.momslikeme.com/
You have added one more thing to my "Oh hell no!" list and "H would kill me if I spent our hard earned money for this"....or would he????