Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mama Uniform

A few weeks ago I ran into a blog called Absolutely Narcissism by Sandra. On that particular day, the topic of discussion was clothing and dressing like a mom.

Like the vain woman that I am, I was searching for ways to give myself a little more style. Unfortunately, this particular post wasn't giving dress advice the way I had hoped. It was a post about a woman who felt that after a woman turns 30 and has kids, she should dress like it. Uh, what exactly does that mean? I apparently didn't get the email or manual when I became a mother or when I turned 30 because I have no idea how a 30+ year old mother is supposed to dress. Hence, the reason why I was looking for fashion advice.

I have what I like to call my Mama Uniform.

 Looks like Chubs is cursing someone out like an Italian mafia guy.
Dark top, jeans, shades, and hair in it's usual mess. After park photo.

   -Jeans. My staple go-to attire. Let's make note that they are not "mom" jeans. I deserve a little credit. I just like to make sure my crack isn't hanging out every time I sit or bend over. Variations: khakis, shorts, capris, and workout pants.
   -T-shirts. Variations depend on the weather: tunics, cardigans, sweatshirts, tank tops. 
   -Sunglasses: The bigger the better. No day is complete without shades. It not only provides me with protection but it also hides dark circles and bags way better than any concealer. 

 Looking through my closet, I've found that most of my tops are black, navy, brown, and a touch of white. I can pretty much pull any two items in my closet and it's guaranteed to match. Plus, darker colors tend to hide stains better and supposedly make you look slimmer. I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to find myself in a magazine with the shameful black rectangle on my eyes to protect my identity.

One of the main reasons I really don't put too much effort in clothing is because I always end up with mystery stains on them. It can be one or more of the following: saliva, various food items, mystery sticky substance, regurgitated items and dirt. The top also has to be boobie flash proof because Chubs has a tendency to pull my top down for the world to see the "girls." Princess Ninja is currently obsessed with the word "boobies" and likes to point and/or poke at mine. There is so much running, bending, crawling, kneeling, etc involved in my day that my clothing has to be comfortable and practical.

A few months ago, I was inspired to try to put a little more pizazz to my wardrobe. I invested in a few pieces of clothing that weren't too trendy but stylish. Shopping for these few items was stressful since I brought the kids with me. Another reason why I love online shopping. Since I can't try anything on, I tend to purchase more Mama Uniform-like items.  One of the new pieces also included a sundress. Whoa! I also busted out some of my pre-mama shoes that haven't seen sunlight in 3 years. I was feeling pretty good.

I put on my little sundress and comfortable wedges and sashayed out with the kids to start our day. Chubs kept lifting my dress exposing my albino legs and full-coverage panties. My feet were hurting from the wedges and the kids were able to out run me through various obstacle courses. Since that day, I was back to my "classic" style, the Mama Uniform.

Trying to stop the Italian mafia guy from coming out of Chubs.


  1. Now why would you have to worry about hiding stains? LOL

    Great post. I think as long as a mom isn't wearing something with her tush or ta tas hanging out, she's good. I don't feel that, because I'm over 30, I should have to submit to some dress code that involves ugly florals and an elastic waistband.

    Well said, mama!

  2. I completely agree with the previous poster. Well written. It is all to easy for me to fall into a rut of jeans, t-shirt and sandals as well.

  3. Mama're so pretty, you could get away with wearing a yellow rain jacket all day!

  4. The Mama uniform is the only way to go when you're with the kids!

    Come by when you can...