Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Total Body Workout

We all want a hot body! We all want to wake up every morning feeling va va va voom.  Does any of the following resemble us instead:

Good morning triceps, is that you guys waving at me? Where are we taking flight to today?
There's a buy one get one free on pancakes this morning. (As each butt cheek is dragged on the ground)
Muffin top, let's just take the whole damn bakery with us
I like it when my thighs rub together. I like it when I chafe.

After observing several people and infomercials, I think I've devised a complete body work out. From toned arms, a belly that doesn't jiggle, a butt so high and firm you can bounce a coin on it, and lean legs, it is possible with minimum effort.

Move over Jillian Michaels there's a new work out guru in town!

The Ab Contour

It's a belt that delivers electrical impulses to your abdominal muscles. I have to admit, I actually tried this. A friend of mine bought it and she let me use it to work out.  I had a 45 minute work out while doing every day task. I even ate a doughnut as I was working out!!!!

The Shake Weight

Dynamic Inertia is the technology used for this device. Hmm, dynamic inertia, huh? You must see the instructional video to truly appreciate this. The website claims that you'll see results by using this for only 6 minutes a day. 6 minutes, I think I can spare that.

Sketchers Shape Ups

"Shape up while you walk" Again, another multi-tasking way to work out. You can shop for groceries or walk the kids to the park and shape up all at the same time. Cha ching!

Sun Chips Technology

Last, but not least, this one is actually beyond my control. If every manufacturer of food can use the same loud technology as Sun Chips, it might just prevent me from eating so much. I'm all for biodegradable and helping the green movement, but if the whole neighborhood can hear I'm eating at midnight, I might just pass on stuffing my face.

Disclaimer: I'm still waiting for Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit edition to call me. I just found the above interesting if they actually worked. If it does, please let me know!


  1. Hello!

    I am visiting from nestwork and I am your neighbour!

    Very bombastic blog & beautiful family. Look forward to know you more!

  2. I always wonder if those things actually work for people!

    Stopping by from SITS! :)

  3. I love that you wore that ab belt WHILE eating a donut! ~laughing~ Good thinking!

  4. I have one of those belts... somewhere.... Cant remember it ever working but I too probably wore it while lying on the sofa eating biscuits...

  5. I had one of those belts once. All it did was make me constipated. Love your blog, and I'm following you now.
    Check out my total body fitness saga here:

  6. Hello! Great post! I found your blog through Mama's Little Nestwork and I love it. I can't wait to read future posts. I'm your newest follower.


  7. So true about how loud the sunchips bag is! I tried to eat one at work once and the WHOLE office knew I was eating chips. Sheesh!

    And you're the second person who posted on the Shake Weight recently. It's so, so wrong.